Reality Check: Considering Our Care for Family

 May 19, 2017 | Jeffrey Lee

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever,” (1Tim 5:8 NIV).

Today, I have been reading through 1 Timothy. As I was reading, I was challenged by this verse which speaks to the issue of caring for family, but more specifically, those in legitimate need within our family. In the context, Paul is instructing Timothy about proper care for widows, vulnerable family and those under the care of a household. Paul teaches that the social responsibility for caring for families is not immediately the responsibility of the government or non-profit organisations but immediate family. Also, Paul strongly makes the point that not to care for socially for relatives and members of your household, denies our Christian faith and makes us worse then and unbeliever. Wow! This again has made me stop to ponder and think more on this issue. The New American Commentary on this passage has some pointed help in understanding this passage saying, “Paul’s purpose in this verse was to reprimand those families who neglected their own needy widows. To ‘provide’ involves foreseeing and planning for the needs of dependents. Paul suggested that a Christian has a responsibility to care for all needy relatives, but especially for ‘those under his own roof.’ Those living under the roof may also be relatives, but they are more intimately a part of the family and deserving of greater care. The Christian faith requires that children honor their parents as a part of their duty (Eph 6:2). Anyone who does not provide such care has denied the faith,” (Lea & Griffin, 148).

As I ponder this subject, there are a number of issues that come to mind. In 21st Century, Western culture values individualism, individual identity, individual space and individual decision. Often, when people need assistance as a widow, orphan, disabled or elderly person, the government and non-governmental organisations have developed programs and options to help and assist people to live somewhat independent without being a burden on family. It has not always been this way. When I was a young, I can still remember visiting my Grandparents in Northern Ontario. They had to care for my elderly Great-Grandmother who had dementia, I believe. I am sure this was difficult for them and many others who have had to provide the same type of care for their families.

Certainly, churches over the centuries were trailblazers in social care. Here in the UK, years ago, churches had built almshouses and hospitals to help those who were not able to care for themselves or receive care from family, (link to hospital history below in reference list).

As I continue to ponder this issue, my thinking has led me to our living in Birmingham, UK. We live around many people who come from, or whose heritage is from Pakistan, Bangladesh and India. I have been amazed and challenged to ponder how and why many of these people live in homes with multi-generations and family. Many homes, from these cultures have grandparents living with their grown up children who have multiple children and their own spouses, all living in one or two houses side by side. Caring for family is important in these cultures and goes without saying. I met a Pakistani Christian a few years ago in whom I had an eye-opening discussion about family. I was challenge when they said to me, “People in the West don’t understand what family means in our culture (referring to her Pakistani culture).” She they asked me, “How would you feel if a family member or close friend came to your home while you were sleeping at 3:00 in the morning, needed food and a place to sleep? You would most likely tolerate this request for one, two or maybe three nights but after awhile probably get upset or annoyed that your family member or close friend was taking advantage of the situation.” She then went on to say that, “In my culture, when a person shows up, we take care of them, we feed them, we house them, no questions asked. Hospitality and social care are essential and expected.” What a challenge, I thought to myself! I had to ponder, am I truly hospitable? Would I help my family in legitimate need? 

It really made me think about my background and culture. I wonder when and how our culture had lost its strong of hospitality. This is not to say people are not in smaller way hospitable. I have been blessed to be in may homes for meals and overnight stays, for which I am very grateful. When I have traveled the more rural provinces of Canada, I have seen a stronger sense of hospitality not present in many cities. But still, I do wonder if our culture has lost a strong sense of social care and hospitality for family. Nowadays, families seem to value their autonomy and seem to have lost a sense of biblical hospitality. With all the social housing and social programs available today, our culture doesn’t need to really on family and the church as they did in centuries past, but I often wonder, in a world where there are ever increasing pressures for governments to “tighten the purse strings,” whether our culture, our families and even our churches are ready to help with the social concerns. What about the concerns of widows, orphans, homelessness, disabled and others. The challenge that Paul gives to Timothy I believe is relevant today and I believe will likely continue to be grow as financial challenges grow in society over days, months and years ahead.

A few questions that I am pondering from this text… Are we as Christian family and churches prepared to care for our most vulnerable family members? When it comes to those in need, are we prepared to consider how we can help? What can we do to help the most vulnerable in our family and society? Paul’s challenges us that not to provide care and help for family, is to deny the faith. Strong words deserving of strong contemplation.

To those who are hospitable, caring and working through helping your aged parents, those who disabilities or challenges, and so many other ways, may God bless you and give you every provision and strength you need today!

REFERENCE LIST
Lea, Thomas D., and Griffin, Hayne P. 1, 2 Timothy, Titus, vol. 34, The New American Commentary. Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992.

Link to some history of hospitals and almshouses in UK.  https://historicengland.org.uk/research/inclusive-heritage/disability-history/1050-1485/hospitals-and-almshouses/

Book Review: Augustine as Mentor by Dr. Edward Smither

Augustine as Mentor: A Model for Preparing Spiritual Leaders By Edward L. Smither's Nashville, Tennessee: B&H Academic, 2008, 264 pp, $ 17.99

softcover.

Dr. Edward L. Smither is an assistant professor of Church History and Intercultural Studies at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary in Lynchburg, Virginia.  He has written a helpful book for those in Christian leadership today on mentoring focusing mainly on the early church bishop Augustine of Hippo (354 -430) entitled Augustine as Mentor:Model for Preparing Spiritual Leaders.

Today, people are often in such a hurry to get from one appointment to another, shopping, work, children, church and more.  The busyness of life leaves people with little time to focus on learning from others and teaching others themselves.  This is especially true in many churches today.  Smither points out through many early church fathers that this, historically speaking, has not always been the case in the Christian Church and does not have to be the status quo for today.  The main thesis in Smither’s book is, “That Augustine effectively mentored spiritual leaders and set them apart for needed ministries in the church and that many aspects of his mentoring will serve as instructive for the modern mentor.”[1]

Smither starts by describing discipleship and mentorship as not something that was exclusive to Jesus and the disciples but was common before Christ in the sect called the Pharisees.[2]  The main practice of Jesus was to disciple through a group.  He had twelve men whom he discipled.  These men shared in the tasks of eating, visiting, traveling, and living with Jesus.  These disciples also were committed to the teaching of Jesus.  They learned from his life.  Smith says that “The apostles and evangelists who came after Jesus also seemed to follow this pattern of teaching.”[3]  Mentoring and discipleship were continued on after Christ by such men as Barnabus who mentoring Paul and Paul mentoring Timothy.

The main themes that run throughout the book seem to answer the question of the “How” of mentoring.  What was passed on?  How was it accomplished?  Smither points out that the pattern of mentoring from Christ to Cyprian, Basil, Ambrose, and finally climaxing with Augustine was found in these five general areas.

First, mentoring was accomplished through groups.  The groups functioned for mutual prayer, encouragement, study, and support.  As Christianity continued to spread and develop monasteries were developed to focus on this idea of group and peer mentoring.  The groups and monasteries were overseen by a theologian, teacher, or bishop.  Also, an outworking of group mentoring came the idea and focus on church councils which started with Cyprian.  He organized the councils to “deal with church matters.”[4]  These councils were a way to teach other bishops and also to defend against increasing heresy in the church.  After Cyprian, Pachomius developed houses or monasteries to train, mentor, and grow monks and clergy.  These were further developed as full-fledge training institutions by Augustine in the spiritual disciplines and clerical life. 

Second, was the mentor as disciple initiative.  Among all the main church leaders Smither writes about, they all were mentored and some mentoring for many years into their ministry.   Cyprian was mentored by Caecilian.  Augustine was mainly mentored by Monica his mother, Simplicianus and Valerius.  Mentoring is not just a giving process but also learning from others. 

Third, was the use of dialogue.  Augustine used this greatly and was also enhanced by the monastic community and was even encouraged among the many councils also.  Dialoguing over spiritual issues, prayer, theological and Scriptural issues was very important in these times. 

Fourth, was the issue of writing letters and books.  Smither points out that from Apostle Paul to Augustine, that communicating through writing for the purposes of mentoring and teaching was very popular.  These gave the writers the opportunity to deal with false teaching, encouragement, theological issues, doctrinal issues, and proper interpretation of Scripture as was seen in the continued dialogue of letters between Jerome and Augustine.  Smither’s also stated that “Ambrose believed that letters to fellow clergy were a means of making his presence know though he was personally distant.”[5]  This would have been a very important way to communicate in those times as they would not have had internet and phone systems along with the fact that travel would have taken a great amount of time and effort.  Writing was one of the best forms of communication with such distances. 

Lastly, Smither points out that there is a heritage from Jesus to Augustine of the commitment to the importance of Scriptures and sound teaching.  An example from Augustine’s life is pointed out by Smith, “He believed that as soon as he learned something in the Scriptures, he should quickly pass it on for the edification of the church.”[6]  The Scripture was real and was meant to teach the mentor and the mentored.  Within the context of the monasteries, Scripture reading, teaching and memorization were a foundation to the education of all who attended.  The monasteries ended up producing many clergy over time because of the quality of education.  Smither also mentions that they, “spent time each day reading the Scriptures and other spiritually oriented books from their library.[7] 

The life of Augustine is truly an amazing study.  His passion for mentoring is seen in all that he accomplished.  Smither’s says, “His most significant legacy was ‘numerous clergy.’”[8]  Because of the numerous monasteries that Augustine organized this helped the church and there were many people ordained to the ministry for years to come.  This proves Smither’s thesis that Augustine was an effective mentor.

Overall, this book is a very informative book on mentorship.  Many of the disciplines that helped the church grow and continue even up until this century have been based on these principles.  Discipleship and mentorship are just as important today as they were in Augustine’s time.  Unfortunately, mentorship is becoming a lost art in Western Church culture today because of the hectic and busy lives people lead.  The church must recapture the importance of mentorship today.  Church today has many books and writings today, some having no value, others more.  However, this book helps the Christian to look into Church history and see what worked before and causes rethinking approaches to mentoring.  Such as the mentor, being mentored.  Group discipleship and encouragement.  Real, honest dialogue in the Christian community.  The great importance of the Christian community.  Finally, the awesome responsibility of Christians is to live and breathe the word of God. 

Finally, though the preceding chapters leading up to Augustine’s life were helpful, it can be somewhat disappointing to the reader who is expecting to learn from Augustine to have to wait till halfway through the book to start to learn from his life.  However, the material about mentoring from such men as Cyprian, Basil, and Ambrose is valuable for the reader and leader today.  This will require taking some time out of a busy schedule.

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[1] Edward L. Smither, Augustine as Mentor (Nashville Tennessee: B&H Academic, 2008),  2.

[2] Ibid, 5.

[3] Ibid, 9.

[4] Ibid, 28.

[5] Ibid, 77.

[6] Ibid, 128.

[7] Ibid, 149.

[8] Ibid, 156.