Awareness of the Struggle of Depression, Self-Harm and Suicide

Every September, in the United Kingdom, there is one week dedicated to suicide awareness.  One of the issues here in the United Kingdom in the Autumn and Winter with the declining hours of light and increasing hours of darkness is a noticeable mood change.  This is especially true if we go days and sometimes weeks with rain and cloud without any sunshine.  Depression is an issue that affects many, seemingly more than what I experienced living in Canada (or maybe people in the UK are more open about the issue).  But with the darker, wet days of winter in brings to my mind the struggles many have with life such as relationships, purpose, fulfilment, stress in work, school and much more.
As a Youth and Young Adults Pastor, my heart breaks for the many youth today who feel alone, who are struggling inside with hurt, pain, challenges and discontentment with no one they feel they can talk too.  I want to explore the topic today of depression and suicide among teens but also in people general.  There seems to be more and more recent reports especially of teen’s attempting and some committing suicide, or at least there may be more awareness, though here in the UK figures suggest a slight 4.7% decrease in suicide rates last year.[1]  My heart breaks for these teens, parents and friends who have suffered through such a tragic situation.  Recently, I knew a family who had experienced the loss of someone close to them who chose to end their life themselves.  My heart was and still is broken for this family.  This issue seems to be growing with the number of those who are struggling with complex personal issues and unable to cope, attempting self-harm.  The Telegraph reports that there has been a “68% rise in the number of young people being admitted to hospital because of self-harm over the last 10 years – that’s three in every classroom.”[2]   Thought self-harm does not necessarily mean a person is thinking suicide, it is still related to many who struggle.  In Canada, the country of my birth, suicide is on the rise and was brought to light in 2016 when “five teenagers from Woodstock, Ontario killed themselves in just as many months.”[3]
What is the point of bringing awareness of this topic?  I have personally found over the years that Christians unfortunately seem ill equipped and are prone to evade open discussion about suicide.  I don’t mean to be crass, or am I attempting to make light of the issue of suicide.  However, as Christians, I believe we must become more educated and more aware of this issue, concerns, symptoms, and signs.  Further, it is important that we listen to others with an attitude of love, care and concern without judgementalism.  Often it is hard for those struggling emotionally, with various challenges and thoughts, to come forward to a family member, friend, minister or counsellor.  MIND UK suggests to those struggling…
“It can feel difficult to open up to people.
You may want others to understand what you're going through, but you might feel:
Suicidal thoughts aren't permanent - things do improve. You can find your motivation to live again.

• unable to tell someone
• unsure of who to tell
• concerned that they won't understand
• fearful of being judged
• worried you'll upset them”[4]

Here is a charity that helps those with mental health issues trying to suggest that many people do feel unable to share how they feel, unsure of who to talk too, not sure if others will understand their feelings, fear being judged and worried they might upset those they might share with.  Picture yourself in the shoes of someone who has all these feelings and emotions swirling within them.  Would they feel safe approaching you?  We need to make people safe.  A word to Christian churches, organizations, charities, we need to work toward being a safe place for people to approach, and it’s unfortunate that some may not come who need someone to listen, love and care.  Many Christians face these feelings too, and depression, which is often linked with suicide, is something Christians struggle with too.  Please understand that depression can happen to anyone and is not just mental health issue cause by issues of sin.  Unfortunately, there are still some from an uneducated background in this area who think such a thing.  Depression can be brought on by sinful struggles but it is by far not the only issue that leads to depression.  I say this because I had heard this growing up among some people that depression was a sin problem, I had painful discussion with an uneducated pastor on this issue a few years ago.  Depression can be caused by chemical imbalances in the body, post-partum depression, injury, loss of a friend or close family member and so on.  Please do not assume this as “depression can be emotional, medical, or spiritual.  Sometimes it’s all three at once.”[5]
Since I studied through college and I am close to finishing a master’s degree, I have been interested in issues of mental health and counselling, spending some time looking into many issues including depression.  Depression can come from many different challenges and situations in a person’s life.  A few years ago, I personally went through a bout of depression after having a serious concussion playing ice hockey where I landed on my head.  My head was cloudy, I had serious headaches, feel tired all the time.  I felt dark inside for months.  It wasn’t until I talked with a brain therapy specialist in Canada that I realized that I needed a serious recovery plan.  My doctor here in the UK did not give me any advice at all, but suggested I take medication.  That was his only solution, medication.  But after talking with the brain therapist I found out among many things, I should have taken serious time off, not been watching television and playing on my phone, all of which was slowing down healing.  I hurt my brain, I should have stopped everything, silly me.  What I want to point out is at the time I felt embarrassed and afraid to talk to others about it.  I was able to find help through the therapist, some websites at the time, but also through some books of which the most helpful was a book by Psychiatrist Donald Hall called, “Dealing with Depression.”[6]  Dr. Hall gave many helpful steps and advice on recovery.  I must be honest, I felt and even feel now that it’s difficult to share my past situation because of fear of being judged.  However, in order to encourage others to share, I want to be open even despite what others may think or say.  As a Christian, I found that my relationship with God helped me tremendously.  One the practices that helped me through the depression was worship of God.  Worship through prayer with God, singing uplifting songs to him in the car, working on things around the house, reading the Bible, God’s Word to us.  All this together helped to lift my spirit tremendously, alongside some of the suggestions in Donald Hall’s book.
Mental health issues are serious and more common place today.  We need to be ever more aware that people all around us and even our family could be facing such issues, and we may not even be aware.  Those struggling with depression, self-harm and suicide need to know there are people who care and are willing to listen with unconditional love.
What are some signs that we need to be aware to help those who are struggling?  I just read this week great new Net Nanny article by Dr. Charlene Millar who suggests these six signs in relation to teens for which need to be on the watch.  She suggests the looking for the following potential risks:
Understanding Potential Risks

1. Withdrawal from Usual Activities:When kids who have been typically interested in activities and friends begin withdrawing from friends, activities and family gatherings, it is important to wonder what might be going on for your child. Sometimes withdrawal is a sign of depression which is a leading cause of suicide.

2. Depressed Mood:Symptoms of depression can include, but is not limited to, fatigue and decreased energy, difficulty concentrating, feelings of guilt, hopelessness and helplessness, notable changes in sleep patterns such as insomnia or excessive sleeping, notable changes in appetite such as overeating or appetite loss, persistent sadness. It is not uncommon for those who are depressed or suicidal to ignore hygiene and personal appearance.

3. Frequent Outbursts of Anger:Teenagers typically have mood swings, all of which need to be addressed. Mood swings that may be more concerning are those that seemingly come out of nowhere and without understandable context. Some of these mood swings may come with threats of violence and self-harm, expressing their sense of hopelessness in an aggressive way. Mood fluctuations between extreme anger or manic behaviour and labile or depressed mood may be signs of bipolar disorder or other mental illness.

4. Current Family Difficulties or Traumatic Life Events:Children and teens often experience their parents’ marital conflict or divorce as life altering and traumatic. Hopelessness and helplessness often begin within that child when these difficulties go undiscussed. Death of a loved one or even a family move may leave a child feeling lonely and ignored. Sometimes their way of coping is to withdraw or to become angry.

5. School Difficulties:Students who contemplate suicide sometimes tell a friend or write about it in school essays. Their feelings of hopelessness and helplessness may come from a variety of school experiences. Academic pressure from parents or from schools may feel insurmountable especially when the message is that the student is not “good enough” unless they have a perfect score. Bullying is a pervasive school problem that students often do not disclose because of shame and embarrassment. Adults may minimize the effects of bullying, but students experience the trauma of such harassment on a daily basis. Currently going beyond name calling and shunning, cyberbullying with mobile devices takes the harassment to a viral level. Students are subject to physical and sexual threats, altered instagram posts, group humiliation and rejection sometimes accompanied with bribes in order for the bullying to stop.

6. Self-Injury:Sometimes the cry for help appears in more hidden, but destructive, ways. Self-injury often begins as a way of self-soothing. Some students report that cutting, or self-mutilation, is a way that they still see if they can feel. Substance use of alcohol and drugs temporarily numbs the pain. Food binging sometimes begins as a way to “swallow” the pain while purging is a way to “express” their pain. And sometimes the student feels as if they can “disappear” or stay in control through restricted eating or anorexia. A disregard for one’s own life can also appear in careless behaviour such as reckless driving, unsafe sex, or maintaining destructive and abusive relationships.[7]

How do you know if you are may be struggling with potential suicide?  MIND UK suggests “here are some thoughts, feelings and experiences you may go through if you are feeling suicidal.
“How you might think of feel

• hopeless, like there is no point in living
• tearful and overwhelmed by negative thoughts
• unbearable pain that you can't imagine ending
• useless, unwanted or unneeded by others
• desperate, as if you have no other choice
• like everyone would be better off without you
• cut off from your body or physically numb

What you may experience

• poor sleep with early waking
• change in appetite, weight gain or loss
• no desire to take care of yourself, for example neglecting your physical appearance
• wanting to avoid others
• self-loathing and low self-esteem
• urges to self-harm”[8]

What can you do if you are feeling some of these feelings, if you are for any reason feeling like hurting yourself?  Here are a number of immediate ways to get the emergency help you need if you live in the UK thanks to MIND UK:
“Getting help in an emergency

• If you don't feel you can keep yourself safe right now, seek immediate help.
• go to any hospital A&E department(sometimes known as the emergency department)
• call 999and ask for an ambulance if you can't get to A&E
• ask someone else to contact 999 for you or take you to A&E immediately
• If you need some support right now, but don't want to go to A&E, here are some other options for you to try:
• contact the Samaritanson freephone 116 123, they're open 24 hours and are there to listen
• contact your GP for an emergency appointmentor the out of hours team
• call NHS 111 (England)or NHS Direct 0845 46 47 (Wales)
• contact your local crisis team
• see MIND UK’s page on helping yourself cope right now, and on crisis services.”[9]

In Canada: Call 911 or visit https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/
In the USA:  Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
In the EU: visit this site for websites and phone numbers in your related country http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Europe/
In Australia: Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au
In New Zealand: Call 0800 543 354 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.nz
How can you help yourself or be able to help others that you suspect may be struggling with suicide?
MIND UK again gives some brilliant advice for us to consider when helping others who are struggling:
“It can be very distressing if you are worried about someone who feels suicidal. They may have talked about wanting to end their life, or you may be concerned that they are thinking about it.
You might feel unsure of what to do, but there are lots of things that might help. You could:

• encourage them to talk about their feelings
• encourage them to seek treatment and support
• offer emotional support
• offer practical support
• help them think of ideas for self-help
• help them to make a support plan

The main aspect of supporting someone through this is compassion, listening and most importantly not over-reacting or becoming upset. Remaining calm and talking the situation through is extremely important.
It may also be helpful to remove things that someone could use to harm themselves, particularly if they have mentioned specific things they might use.
For more information on encouraging someone to seek treatment for suicidal feelings, see our information above.”[10]
My reason for writing this post is to encourage all of us to be aware of these issues of mental health among young people and adults all around us, and do the best you can to listen to our family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, fellow students and others, showing love, care and concern.  I also want to encourage churches to think and prepare their staff and people to be aware and truly show care.  There are loads of resources and organisations available at just a click on the internet.  If you are reading this article and work in any other environment other than church, my encouragement would be the same.  Any help of people with mental issues, especially depression, self-harm and suicide need attention from all people.  Any caring ear and heart is welcome! You never know, you might find this information helpful someday soon and help save a person’s life.  As a Christian, I encourage you not to forget, that there is all this help, and you can also call on God in prayer for His help too anytime!  If you have struggled or know someone who has and want to offer some other advice or web links to help, feel free to add them in the comments section.
Thank you and God bless!

Psalm 34:18-19 (NIVUK)
“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all.”

Psalm 55:22 (NIVUK)
^“Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.”

1 Peter 5:7 (NIVUK)
^“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

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[1] "Suicide rates fall to six-year low." Samaritans. Accessed November 11, 2017. https://www.samaritans.org/news/suicide-rates-fall-six-year-low.

[2] Bodkin, Henry. "'Heartbreaking' 68pc rise in self-harm among young teenage girls." The Telegraph. October 18, 2017. Accessed November 10, 2017. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/18/heartbreaking-rise-self-harm-among-young-teenage-girls/.

[3] Levinson-King, Robin. "Teen suicide on the rise among Canadian girls." BBC News. March 13, 2017. Accessed November 10, 2017. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39210463.

[4] "Suicidal feelings." Suicidal feelings | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems. Accessed November 11, 2017. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/#.WgcWFxO0OqA.

[5] Donald P. Hall, Breaking through depression (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2009), 20.

[6]https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B0035YPILE&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_SZXbAb0PT56MX

[7] Miller, PhD Charlene Underhill. "Warning Signs of Suicidal Thoughts: Understanding Your Teen's Cry for Help." Net Nanny. November 05, 2017. Accessed November 11, 2017. https://www.netnanny.com/blog/6-warning-signs-of-suicidal-thoughts/.

[8] "Suicidal feelings." Suicidal feelings | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems. Accessed November 11, 2017. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/#.WgctLRO0OqB.

[9] Ibid.

[10] "Supporting someone who feels suicidal." How to help | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems. Accessed November 11, 2017. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/supporting-someone-who-feels-suicidal/how-to-help/#.Wgcr5BO0OqA.