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"Most of us are terrified to be open with each other, not because we’re afraid of hurting or discouraging people, but because we profoundly fear that others will retreat from us. We hate to admit that the people we depend on are simply too weak to stay deeply involved once they face all that we are. We don’t want to accept the fact that, since the Fall, no human being has the capacity to love us perfectly."
"Most of us are terrified to be open with each other, not because we’re afraid of hurting or discouraging people, but because we profoundly fear that others will retreat from us. We hate to admit that the people we depend on are simply too weak to stay deeply involved once they face all that we are. We don’t want to accept the fact that, since the Fall, no human being has the capacity to love us perfectly."
~ Inside Out by Larry Crabb
If I were to be really honest, I would say that this is so true in and of my life and heart!
Transparency
Transparency
I was really caught by two facts in the quote above in my own words:
1) Even though I think I may be deeply open, friendly, accepting and loving toward others... really deep down it is true that we are terrified that when people really see us for who we are they will retreat. There have been times where I have started to be more open, only to have people close down the conversation, change it or just really walk away. The writer of Proverbs truthfully hit the mark when he said, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)" and "A friend loves at ALL times... (Proverbs 17:17)." Finding a true, honest and open friend who loves us through thick and thin, highs and lows, good and downright bad is a treasure but that is what leads me to the second fact.
2) No human has the capacity to love us perfectly (even our spouses!). I believe that I have unknowingly held people to a higher and more perfect standard of love, respect and care in friendship then is humanly possible. The truth is, we are all fallen, and we are all affected by sin. Therefore no one, not even myself, can have a perfect capacity to love in every circumstance in every possible way, which actually brings a greater more profound dimension in understanding the love that God has for us as he lavishes his love on us through Christ bringing us into a relationship with Himself! He can and still does loves us perfectly, despite our sin, evil waywardness, our circumstances. But I, and we, am still commanded to love God and others. This means, I am not off the hook, I must still love and learn to love with a deeper capacity than I ever have in the past because of what God has done for me. This is where the hard inside work for change begins as I look at my motives for loving and being loved. Just some random thoughts as I meditate on these words for my own life. Feel free to add your own thoughts :)
1) Even though I think I may be deeply open, friendly, accepting and loving toward others... really deep down it is true that we are terrified that when people really see us for who we are they will retreat. There have been times where I have started to be more open, only to have people close down the conversation, change it or just really walk away. The writer of Proverbs truthfully hit the mark when he said, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)" and "A friend loves at ALL times... (Proverbs 17:17)." Finding a true, honest and open friend who loves us through thick and thin, highs and lows, good and downright bad is a treasure but that is what leads me to the second fact.
2) No human has the capacity to love us perfectly (even our spouses!). I believe that I have unknowingly held people to a higher and more perfect standard of love, respect and care in friendship then is humanly possible. The truth is, we are all fallen, and we are all affected by sin. Therefore no one, not even myself, can have a perfect capacity to love in every circumstance in every possible way, which actually brings a greater more profound dimension in understanding the love that God has for us as he lavishes his love on us through Christ bringing us into a relationship with Himself! He can and still does loves us perfectly, despite our sin, evil waywardness, our circumstances. But I, and we, am still commanded to love God and others. This means, I am not off the hook, I must still love and learn to love with a deeper capacity than I ever have in the past because of what God has done for me. This is where the hard inside work for change begins as I look at my motives for loving and being loved. Just some random thoughts as I meditate on these words for my own life. Feel free to add your own thoughts :)
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